Everyone has opinions. Sometimes opinions differ from those of others. That’s fine, it’s part of what makes us who we are and life would be dull if everyone was the same. But – and this is a big one – there is a huge difference between healthy conversation or debate and downright rudeness and argumentative behaviour.
On Sunday, I wasn’t on social media a whole load yet I saw 3 other bloggers getting jumped on for their parenting. Now I get it, parent bashing has always happened and again we all have our different style when it comes to raising our mini humans. The internet though, gives people this false belief that they can say whatever the hell they want without any repercussions. As bloggers we have chosen to put our lives in the public domain but guess what? We haven’t stopped having feelings, so when we are harshly judged or spoken to rudely then it hurts just the same as it would face-to-face.
My friend Alex posted a photo of her carrying her Little Cub in a sling. In the caption for the photo she stated that she knew he wasn’t correctly positioned and that it was a tricky product to get to grips with. Cue a good 30+ people all jumping in to tell her how dangerous it can be to carry a baby incorrectly. Now don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly important for babywearing parents to know the T.I.C.K.S guidelines and to wear their little ones safely. But after the first few people commented and Alex responded to thank them for their concern, was it necessary for the photo to then be shared on a babywearing group for others to jump on the bandwagon and accuse Alex of putting her son in danger? Of advertising incorrect babywearing techniques? No. Anyone could see that the correct guidelines had already been shared and Alex had replied nicely to say that she was aware and understood people’s concern. She deleted the photo.
Next up came Al, with a list of just some of the ridiculous comments he’s had to put up with from The Dad Network followers (Click ‘See More’ if the whole list isn’t showing):
Really? So it’s okay to tell parents who have endured the agony of 4 miscarriages that they should just be happy with the son they have?! That’s never okay!
Also, turning their son gay? Really? THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!
At bed time I then saw a beautiful photo of Julie’s Little M in her SnuzPod. Julie was saying that with Little M now 7 months old, thoughts are turning to when she should go into her own room. Guidelines advise that babies sleep in their parents’ room for 6 months and then it’s really a case of what works for each family. Only apparently it’s not. Julie was rather rudely told that babies should be in their own room from birth because then the parents don’t have to be bothered by every little noise. Also, current guidelines are “nonsense” because “My kid turned out fine”. I couldn’t resist:
I’m so glad that her kid turned out fine but the parents of children who sadly died because of practices that are now known to be less safe, surely wish that they’d had this information back then.
When I wrote about the things people shouldn’t say to new parents it wasn’t me sat there thinking of hypothetical situations that would annoy me. Every point in that post happened either to me or someone I know. I also believe that sometimes people are offended by complete nonsense, yet on the flip side the internet is used as a tool to say truly awful things sometimes. How we raise our children is up to us as their parents and I just don’t get why people think it’s okay to bash the choices of others. Are the children safe, loved and cared for? Great. That’s that then.
So come on everyone, remove those judgy pants and plonk them in tie dye to make some peace and love pants instead. Parenthood is bloody hard so let’s stop with the negativity and support one another.