I took a photo of Toby and Martha in Waitrose today. They were running hand-in-hand, loving every second of life, and I wanted to capture their joy. It was a beautiful moment, but it didn’t take long for my adultness to stamp all over their toddlerness.
“Stop running in the shop!”
“Pack it in before you bang into someone!”
“DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!”
Here’s the thing: Upon reflection, I can see that they weren’t doing anything wrong. I’m not saying that I should just let them run riot in Waitrose, knocking over elderly people and emptying bags of rice down the aisle while shouting “Pooey bum bum” at the tops of their voices. But unless there was an actual situation whereby they were about to cause actual harm, I should have just kept a close eye on things and calmed the flip down. I struggle with calming the flip down though. It’s not a strong point of mine. I see potential dangers or annoyances, I panic about inconvenience or upset to others.
My problem, is that I need to *gulp* be more toddler.
I mean bills still need paying, work doing, meals making, laundry sorting, children parenting. I have to adult most of the time, obviously, but I also feel like I need to find a way to calm my anxieties and my panic when our mini people are embracing and loving life. I need to find a space in my brain for being more toddler when the situation dictates that is okay to do so.
Erm, anyone? Honestly, please tell me!
This is the stumbling block, because my brain simply goes into an uncontrollable panic when it comes to being out and about with our mini humans; it often does the same when we’re in too, if I’m honest. I don’t mean to panic or be a killjoy – I certainly don’t want to dampen their happy, innocent little souls – so I need to find a way to override the overwhelm.
Toby and Martha are fiery, stubborn, strong-willed children. They are also happy, adventurous vibrant, funny, clever, so full of life. I’m all of those things too, and I want to be a role model to them and show them that embracing every element of their gorgeous personalities (even the bits that drive us mad) is what makes life amazing. In order to do that, I must remind myself that my stubbornness wouldn’t allow me to settle for a man who didn’t love and respect me, that my intelligence has carved life opportunities and experiences I could never have predicted, that my adventurous nature has taken me across the world, that I am happy.
How do you keep on top of panic or overwhelm? What are the parts of your children’s personalities you never want them to lose? Let me know in the comments below, or get in touch on Facebook or Twitter.