http://nancynorthcott.jim-mcdonald.net/a-lifetime-deal/ We now have somewhere around 8 weeks until we meet you, daddy and I are so excited and we’ve picked a name, some outfits, a cot and loads of other things for you, although I still feel terribly disorganised right now!
When your big brother was born, I imagined that we would be a family of boys, with the Ivy cat being my only female comrade in the house! I love raising a boy and was happy with the idea of two boys but when the sonographer told daddy and I that you’re a girl, on the 20 week scan, we both shed a tear or two. A daughter! I’m very close to your nanny and have always hoped that, should I have a daughter, she and I would be as close.
I won’t lie, I’m pretty nervous about raising you, girls scare me a bit! I know that the standard feeling about having a second child is how you’ll manage love them both equally, but somehow that’s not a worry for me. I already adore you and I know that you and Toby will share my heart. I’ll love you both differently because you are individuals, yet I’ll love you equally. I think my worries – if they can even be called that – stem from my own insecurities.
Your mummy has struggled at times in her life, baby girl. I was bullied a lot at school, I felt like an outsider much of the time and was so awkward socially with my peers. As a kid I could chat away to grown ups but other kids outside of my friendship group made me nervous. As an adult, for a while I continued to let people treat me badly at times because I just thought that’s how my life was. I wasn’t the pretty, fashionable, funny, outgoing one, I was the plain one, the geek by all accounts.
Then I met your daddy. He saw something in me that I never knew existed and he wouldn’t let me push him away when I lost my confidence. He inspired me, he made me a wife and a mummy, even a blogger and a copywriter – all things I’d dreamed of but never thought possible.
So why does all this make me nervous about having a daughter? Well, my darling girl, it’s quite simple. I want you to know your worth from the day you enter this world and I don’t want my insecurities to form yours. I will do my utmost to shelter you from any negative thoughts that I have about myself because whilst I don’t want an arrogant little madam, I do want a fierce one. I want you to know how beautiful, clever, worthy and wonderful you are. I want you to understand your strengths as well as your weaknesses so that you can make informed choices in life and embrace your whole person.
Will you be a redhead or a brunette? Sporty, academic, artistic or a mixture? A scholar or a dreamer? Will you be into princesses, football or both? Will you go through a goth stage like your mummy, a clubbing stage like your daddy or something totally different? Will you be gentle, quiet, sensitive, or will you be an extrovert? These things will only be revealed as you grow but we will nurture every part of your personality so that you know that you’re absolutely perfect by just being you.
I already love you so much, as does daddy and even Toby in his own funny, young toddler way! You’ll fit into our family, make it whole and give us a new dimension to life. You will undoubtedly give me as many sleepless nights during your teens as you will during your early days and I will always worry, because I will always be your mummy. But know that I will always support you, hold you, guide you, listen to you and love you.
We can’t wait to meet you darling girl.
Loads of love,