Should I tell people I am pregnant?
Some people don’t tell a soul they are pregnant until at least 12 weeks, some people tell everyone immediately. We played it somewhere in the middle. With Christmas fast approaching and bringing with it that yearned-for 12 week milestone, we decided that we wanted to tell a few people.
Sharing our joy
For Phil and I, it was about sharing our joy with those closest to us, but also about creating a support network should anything go wrong. As any parent will know, the wait for that first scan feels like a lifetime and it is a nerve-wracking time when you can’t feel kicks, you can hear a heartbeat and the only signs that all is okay are the lack of period and the probably presence of sickness and symptoms.
The day we found out
The day we found out, we decided to tell our parents, my brother and a couple of our closest friends. People who simply had to be the first ones to know, who would keep it a secret and who would be there for us at the drop of a hat. That evening, I text my parents saying we were nearby and could we stop in for a cuppa, here’s what happened…
We got in and luckily both of my parents were home. Presenting them with a gift bag containing a small wrapped present, we told them it was just a little something we’d seen that they might like. My Dad went to the kitchen for scissors (I may have gone overboard with the tape) and reappeared in the lounge doorway with is jaw on the ground muttering “Oh my God”. Phil and I simply sat in silence smiling as Dad handing the digital test to Mum, the words ‘Pregnant. 2-3 Weeks’ still clearly visible. Mum screamed, everyone jumped up and a family hug ensued. Complete with tears, obviously! This will be their first Grandchild and there were just over the moon!
The nest day we phoned my brother who’s at uni in Lincoln. Casually asking about his course and his dissertation plans, I then asked him if he’d like to be an Uncle. After a sarcastic “Nah, not bothered” – as is typical of my dry-witted younger sibling, he told us what fantastic news it was and he sounded genuinely thrilled for us. We recorded the phone call and have kept it for the baby to hear when it’s older.
Later in the day, Phil’s parents came over. We’d Facetimed them to tell them the previous night as they didn’t think they were coming over. Anyway, luckily they said they were planning to visit before we told them, so on the Saturday we hid the other test under a photo album that we knew my Mother-in-Law wouldn’t be able to resist looking at. With Phil secretly filming on his tablet, Sue duly picked up the album and started looking through. Putting it down in a different place, neither her nor my Father-in-Law spotted the test that was right in front of them. Phil took action! “Mum, what’s that on the table? I thought we’d tidied up” Sue studied the test for a moment then realisation hit and she looked at me… “Are you?!” Once again, cue lots of hugs and congratulations.
Phil told two of his closest friends at work and I told three of mine on a road trip to Hastings. My screamed and squealed a lot more than Phil’s and I have a sound clip of me telling them too!
We feel that we did the right thing by telling these people. They were all thrilled for us, all aware of the sensitivity of those crucial first weeks and all 100% there for us without being overwhelming. I can’t say what’s right or wrong for everyone in this situation, but this was absolutely right for us.